Sleep blessed sleep

I slept for 12 hours last night! Hallelujah! Yippee Kiyah! Its been a   l o n g   time coming. I've been waiting for my sleep, blessed sleep of my own. Now will it repeat? One night down.

Actually closer to 11-1/2 hours but who is counting?!?! At 8:30 PM I was in bed, and took an assist from Ambien. Those little pills have only been giving me 4 hours if I'm lucky. But not last night. I remember waking up at 4:30 AM thinking it was way too early to start the day. Lets see if I can fall back to sleep for maybe an hour or so. And then it was 8:00 AM.

The reason this is such an event—make that Event—is that every time, especially in the last 10 months, that Robert had to go back to the hospital, I checked in as well. We were lucky in that lately we were given a private room with a firm foam couch where I slept each and every night he was there.

I mention the firm foam of the couch as I have also slept at the hospital in reclining chairs, fold out chairs, cots, all sorts of bed-like contraptions that fold. Folding is the common theme. The reclining chairs never reclined enough, and you are stuck in one position—on your back. Once one would not lock in the recline position so I had to stay braced all night, otherwise the chair would spring back into the upright position—almost catapulting me across the room. The cots had thin mattress and crossbar supports that are ergonomically designed to cause the most pain and discomfort to one's hips and back.

That describes the sleep accommodations. But the real issue was that I was on Robert's sleep cycle. I mean I was there for him. And if he was awake so was I. And I am not saying this to come across as a saint. It was just that way it was for me. Moment by moment. I mean who wants to be awake alone at night in a hospital room? He once joked that he'd open his eyes and look over at me and I'd already be out of bed and on my way to him. That's my love.

During his last three weeks in the hospital sleep was elusive for him. An hour and a half to two hours at a time at most. Then he'd be awake for anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours before getting back to sleep. This was agony for me. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to sleep.