Eulogy

We were soooo young when we met on the high school newspaper. He was an outgoing editor and I was an incoming one. I vividly remember that first meeting—sitting on the floor in front of him. I reached back and touched his knee and felt an electric current run though my body.

I knew in that instant that he was “the one”. And during the last several months as we have reminisced he told me that he had felt that same current. He quipped that we met editing copy all those years ago (45) and were still editing copy together.

We had a marketing and advertising business and at Robert’s urging we refocused it last year to align with MY passion—horses. We found and worked with passionate loving compassionate people. And I have new friends across the country from this reaching out to the equestrian community. The recent culmination of this was being contacted by Cavalia, headquartered in Canada, to be their equestrian representative during their engagement here. This was my nirvana.

He went back to school in his 50s for a PhD in Clinical Psychology. And he found his greatest meaning of life in his work as a therapist. His internship offered him the opportunity to begin the experience of working one on one with people. And it was his greatest disappointment when he had to fill out the forms ending this work due to cancer. “Robert was such a sweet man with a beautiful spirit and generous heart,” said his friend and supervisor.

I have watched in awe these last two years as Robert touched the hearts of everyone he met along his cancer journey. He never complained about the pain. Or the injustice of the NG tube. At each hospital admission he took the time to learn each and every person’s name, and remembered them. Such a seemingly small thing.

 

We had a constant stream of visitors the last three weeks at the hospital. And I don’t just mean old friends. Nurses who were not assigned to him stopped in to chat. Doctors who were no longer involved with his care, stopped by to visit. Palliative care, ministers, oncologists, rabbi, case manger, social workers, patient care assistants, surgeons, IV nurses. One would leave and someone else was right behind them. The case manager commented that he was harder to get in to see than the President!

All the years together, the good times, the tough times, dropped away as we sat together in the hospital each time. Then it was only that moment that mattered. 

45 years is a long time to love someone. We always allowed each other to grow and change, and even challenged one another. He was my constant companion, my soul mate, best friend, lover, husband, teacher, student, business partner. I know our love will endure and that our souls will find one another again.