No chronology

There is no chronology. Just a ribbon of time that stretches forward and backwards. It has been folded and looped over and over onto itself to create layers and points of intersection. I touch one place and slip into a memory that catches me by surprise.

I was driving home from an errand yesterday. I am aware that I am doing a lot of errands. Maybe its pend-up needs from spending so much time taking care of Robert and not being able to  going out. Or maybe it is just part of my dancing about to keep busy. The illusion being that busy will keep the emotions at bay.

It was early morning and that thought resonated with me. I started thinking about the early morning time that Robert died. And realized that just three weeks earlier, at that very time, we were on our way to the ER. He never came home. Symmetry?

Tears stream down my face, as once again and again and again grief overwhelms me.