The difficulty of simple household chores when your husband is dead and gone

I find it embarrassing to admit, but then again what is the purpose of this blog but to share intimate details of life after the death of my husband. I have been having a hard time "getting around" to changing the sheets on the bed. Okay Robert always did it. That is reason one. But really? Don't think that is the only reason. But....it seems like an insurmountable task.

I think about, I plan, I plot, I scheme. I wonder what the problem is. I dither away time. I say I will do it later, in a little while, tomorrow, tonight, in the afternoon, in the evening, after lunch, before dinner. And notice that now is not one of the time thoughts.

Even went so far as to take the fresh sheets and mattress pad out of the linen closet and put them on the bed. Thought went something along the lines of if I see the clean sheets maybe I'll do something about them.

But all this accomplished was to create a new sleeping place for the cats. They love new clean sheets. Do you think I could embrace their enthusiasm? Nope. So now the clean crisp sheets serve as their place to curl up on the bed. Not only have I not changed the sheets, but my cats have abandoned sleeping on me for sleeping on the folded clean sheets.

Along with changing the sheets I have been thinking it is time to change the comforter as well. Put away the Marimekko Comforter I bought and bring out one of the summer weight quilts we have. Is that the issue? Putting on the bed a quilt I slept under with Rob?

Sometimes I think I am expending way more energy avoiding changing the sheets than it would take for me to actually do the chore! What is the problem? Why am I unable to accomplish this simple weekly chore? I am even telling friends about my inability to deal with this. Is this to embarrass myself into action?

Cats to the rescue! They took matters into their own paws last night. They resolved my dilemma. Maybe they were tired of my dithering, my inability to accomplish a simple task.
Maybe they were tired of my telling people they were sleeping on the clean sheets and not me. Maybe they were just helping me move on.

One of them threw up in the bed (a very rare occasion), so at 1 AM I am stripping the bed and putting on the clean sheets. And reaching up to the top shelf in the closet for the summer quilt. And I found out that was indeed part of my reluctance. Rob bought this quilt.

Turned out to be more of an intellectual problem, than actual one. Especially since the new sheets smelled and felt wonderful, and the lighter quilt was greatly appreciated now that it is summer. Looking at the bed from the bedroom doorway it is a visual reminder that I am slowly accepting change.