Shedding and letting go

I have been feeling like a snake shedding it's skin. Letting go of who and what is not working for me. Not holding on to the past so tightly. Being conscious and aware. And with this new consciousness and awareness making choices.

I am thinking now. I am allowing people and activities and things drop away. The cliche "life is short" has hit home hard. You just never know when life or more precisely death is going to rear up and bite you in the ass. Or perhaps it is the going through the fires of hell that burns off the outer layers that have accumulated without thought.

I see myself now coming out of the fog and looking around. Awaking from the nightmare. Making decisions about how I want to move forward. And whom I want to be with me. And what I want to be doing. Will this last?

Be kind to yourself is a mantra that appears again and again in the grief literature. Do I really need to make excuses for others? That question is the old skin, asking permission. Old skin is looking at the situation from their point of view. Old skin is trying to understand why they do not reach out. Old skin: Why they do not say Robert's name aloud. Old skin: Why they do not want to truly know how I am feeling. Old skin: Why they think with the passage of time all is better.

I do not need to worry about others feeling uncomfortable or not knowing what to say. I will express myself to those who are open and listen and can express their love and compassion. Those are the ones I will keep in my life.